where we are

Well, guys, I did it.

I took class with the company of seasoned, perfect performers. I was far behind them technically, but who wouldn’t be? These dancers spend 8 hours a day, 5 days a week moving their bodies. I spend half my time at school in classes studying anything BUT dance, and the other half in rehearsals and technique classes. Just by sheer numbers, I shouldn’t expect to be there at their level, though I wish to God I was.

To be at that level, I wouldn’t have been here,in LA, with a group of creatives and film students and people that are pushing me in ways I’ve never had to be moved before. I would never have thought to pursue other passions or meet science majors and education majors or people outside of the small bubble that the performing arts world can be.

I am changed.

This summer has been changing me day by day and I’ve been forced to start seeing my other strengths and passions outside of dancing and designing. If anything, I’m more confused. I am completely and utterly inundated with interests and information and possibilities and hopes. New York still sounds like a wonderful adult, post-grad adventure, but LA is completely plausible.

One of my closest friends from home came to visit this weekend. A taste of home, and a hint that reality isn’t too far away. Senior year is looming, a month away, and I am scared to death for what the future holds, though I am fortunate as hell for her (shoutout to Relly Girl).

It’s almost as if time stands still when the four of us sit in our different places in this sunlit Burbank living room. As my three other room mates type away and chat and laugh, I can’t help but think that the sounds and feelings of this place will always be with me. Our wrap-around porch, the way the sun set casts light through the foliage outside of our screen door, the burning smell of plastic on the bottom rack of the dishwasher. Never ending floor-length mirrors and the mantel graveyard-turned-shrine. Rooftop conversations. Porch conversations. Jamming to indie folk in the mornings and Kendrick LaMar by night. Carpet workout classes with the couches pushed to the side of the room. Tasting fresh fruits and veggies daily, making odd food concoctions. Talking about everything from Netflix movies to things that make us think. We are most certainly a blessed bunch, the four of us.

The city’s introduction to strangers through Uber drives and friends of friends. Young people, old people, rich people, middle-of-the-roaders. But mostly people following a dream; carrying out what they want to do, exactly in the way they want to do it.

Isn’t it funny how you can meet people and connect? How complete strangers can tell you exactly what you needed to hear? Or help you uncover something you’ve never thought about or understood? Those things are proof of a higher power, in my humble opinion.

Planning and doing was not really ever a thing these past couple of days, and I am completely, 100% OK with that. I’m comforted, even, by the fact that we were calm through it all. No surprises, just changes and curves in the path. A lot of relaxing and taking in exactly where we were. Where we are.

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