Getting out of touch with blogging everyday, and I think my body is hating me because of it. In the past all of my thoughts have been written down in such a private manner that it’s interesting to transition to this public medium. My real struggle is in balancing what to talk about where and how to still put my private thoughts into words elsewhere (if that makes any sense).
Rewind to Thursday evening when I finally put on my worn out, abandoned ballet slippers and a bun for the first time since March. It was not at all what I thought or expected, but my body was craving ballet. I didn’t realize it until I was standing in first position with my left hand on the barre. Back to home base and where so much of what’s familiar came flooding back. Truth be told, I didn’t love the class itself or the teacher or the class level (I need to figure out how the leveling system works on this side of the country…). What I did find out was that I should never be depriving myself of a dance class no matter how scared or out of place I feel at first.
“Do one thing everyday that scares you.”
Friday’s workday began with the wonderful news of the supreme court ruling about gay marriage. FINALLY my friends that I know and love can be treated equally by law. I am so thrilled. My workload consisted of a lot of on-my-feet type tasks which was such a relief to my eager dancing feet. I assisted with the set-up of a video interview of the guest artist that was visiting the company. She is from The Martha Graham Company (non-dancers out there…Martha is huge in the modern dance world and demands a google lookup if you’re unfamiliar with her work), and had a lot of wisdom about humanity and accessing our human-ness through movement. The most powerful thoughts I got from her were these: when you reach that point in a relationship where you don’t have to talk, you can just sit silently together at dinner and know that your spouse is there for you, that lack of words shared together is powerful and meaningful. I love that image.
The sacred point in the day came when I was given the opportunity to have studio time. For a twenty minute period, complete freedom to be on my own in the vacant, stillness that is the dance studio was like a Friday afternoon reward. It’s like going to therapy. Empty studios are a comfort. Marley floor smell and sunlight spilling through the wide open city windows. Heat radiating from the walls and seeping into my bones.There is a calm that rushes over me in those alone times. Those are the moments so precious that words will never do them justice. Moving freely in such a space was a gift. I am so blessed to be working there.
Dance just couldn’t keep me away and I went back Friday evening to take a contemporary class with Teddy Forance. I met Teddy at a dance convention my sophomore (or junior year?) in high school and fell in love with the way he moves. He has a passion for his work and his life that is so evident in his teaching. Finally, I left class feeling paid attention to as an individual artist. Someone of such fame in the commercial dance world was surprisingly down to earth, humble, and genuine in the classroom. The sap that I am cried like a baby when I got in my car out of sheer joy (and also probably a wee bit of exhaustion). Making a difference in other people’s lives, empowering them…that’s what I’ve always felt called to do. Something about the way Teddy is, his way of being, just clicked with me. You know when that happens? When people line up with who you are and what you want out of life? Crazy how you can feel that in such a small amount of time. I have a big hunch he’s a Christian. I walked away Friday feeling overwhelmingly empowered that I CAN be an influential teacher, dancer and altogether person of the world. Thank you, Teddy.
Saturday’s adventures were many and jam packed with history of Hollywood and Downtown Los Angeles. Rather than bore you with paragraphs and paragraphs of hashed out experiences, here’s a little photo scrapbook of the day’s findings:
Today was my first lazy day. Barely left the house and loved every minute of it.